Adoption is Waiting

This is part of a multi-blog series called “Adoption Is” for National Adoption Month 2019. Read the entire series.

Remember the days when you would go to the doctor as a kid? If you’re old like me, this was before iPads and phones. So you sat. You stared at the walls. Counted ceiling tiles. Fidgeted (alot) in your seat. You’d huff and puff and groan that it was taking too long. Well, that’s a whole lot like adoption. Simply put, adoption is waiting.

waiting room in a doctors office
Adoption is full of waiting rooms.

There’s waiting, and then there’s adoption waiting. I think adoption waiting puts the four hour drive to the beach in the backseat with nothing but a notepad waiting to shame.

The waiting begins early in the process and continues until after the decree is sealed by the court. Adoption most definitely follows the the motto of “hurry up and wait.”

Here are a couple of waiting times during adoption. This by no means covers all of them.

  1. Waiting for your initial application to be accepted.
  2. Waiting for the first contact with the social worker.
  3. Waiting while they review your packet.
  4. Waiting (and dreading) the homestudy.
  5. Waiting for the results of the homestudy.
  6. Waiting for official approval to adopt.
  7. Waiting for criminal background checks, financial checks and all the other background investigatory things to be completed.
  8. Waiting for a match. (if not through foster care).
  9. Waiting for the post-TPR court process. (if from foster care).
  10. Waiting for all of the payments or fundraising to be completed.
  11. Waiting for red tape to be cut.
  12. Waiting while the court processes your documents.
  13. Waiting for new social security cards, insurance cards and birth certificates (after completion).

And then there’s special waiting. These are the things that make the process feel so much slower. The following may not occur in all situations, but they do happen depending on your case.

  1. Waiting for medical testing/evaluations for your child.
  2. Waiting for therapy approvals.
  3. Waiting for doctor/psychiatrist approvals.
  4. Waiting to see what special needs may emerge.
  5. Waiting for insurance approvals for any and all of the above.
  6. Waiting for permission to travel to a foreign country.
  7. Waiting while travel arrangements are put in place.
  8. Waiting in country for permission to see your future child.
  9. Waiting in country for permission to leave with your child.
  10. Waiting while there is a change in social workers or supervisors.

You get the picture. In all varieties, shapes and sizes, it is by no means a fast process. And, I’m sure I missed a few waiting periods. You can share those in the comments below. These were quickly off the top. To sum it up… adoption is waiting.

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